My own Hero's Journey! GO RUCK.

Go Ruck. It’s hard to put into words what we all went through- even for me, Ms. Chatterbox. However, it IS easy to fit it into the Hero’s Journey chart and made a GREAT lesson plan for The Odyssey Unit at school. So…here it goes!

Call To Adventure~Invites the initiate into the adventure, offers the opportunity to face the unknown and gain something of physical or spiritual value

A few months ago my friend Sagi had asked me if I every wanted to do Go Ruck. I asked what it was and then responded “maybe.” A few months after that Katie said she was asked to do it and was considering it. At this point, I decided my answer was YES. I emailed Sagi and committed to doing it.

Refusal of the Call~Often when the call is given, the hero temporarily refuses to heed it.

After I committed to do this, I started regretting it. I began to worry it was too much money, or too close to my camping trip and would interfere with my Crossfit training too much.... worried about the end of the trimester with school and too much grading..…but I realized that this was THE time to do it because I WAS scared. So I paid my money and got the confirmation email.

Threshold~The “jumping off point” for the adventure

1am. Venice Beach Fishing Pier. Anton and Mike stuck around for a little while watching us get wet and miserable doing bear crawls in the ocean…but Mike left…then shortly afterwards so did Anton…then shit got real.

Challenges~Situations that put the initiate at risk, emotionally and physically, forcing him to change and grow. Strike the initiate’s greatest weakness, poorest skill, shakiest knowledge, most vulnerable emotions.

Katie and I were chosen to lead the group early on. I was scared shitless! They took us out of the line and I had NO idea why because we weren't in a routine OR working as a team just yet. While Katie was the one that really took charge and got into her awesome coach mode with organizing movement of the huge log, I still had responsibilities and had to get rid of fears and weaknesses to help Katie lead the group.

Revelation~A sudden, dramatic change in the way the initiate thinks or views life; an insight or discovery about himself or life

Once the sun came up and we were done with the log, I thought everything would get better....but....it got worse as I realized we had hours left to go... so I had to change my mindset to get through the journey ahead.

Abyss~The greatest challenge of the journey.

For me, this was the last few miles. Everything hurt. So much pain. I hated all the people looking at us on Venice Beach. Just when I thought we were almost done, the cadre made us run through the sand to the ocean. This is when I cried.

Transformation~A moment of death and rebirth, a part of the initiate dies so that a new part, the hero, can be born

Shortly after this moment and also feeling like I was going to drown in the ocean, the cadre yelled at us to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and keep our chins up…so I got it together and kept my chin up for the last mile.

Atonement~The hero is “at one’ with his new self and life; the changes caused by the journey are at an end, and the hero is content with who he has be come

I was damn proud to get that GO RUCK patch 12.5 hours later, even if it was just after I got done crying….

Return~The hero returns to the known and his everyday life with a boon bestowed upon him based on his new level of skill and awareness.

Well, this about sums it up. Going to work on Monday was a strange feeling. I talked to a few other friends while they were at work and they ended up telling their co-workers that they slept all weekend because it was too hard to explain what the hell we just did. One thing was for sure though- we sure FELT different! Cheers to Troop 307!

Change

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

These past few months have been full of change, joy, and sorrow. Two of my best friends, Katie and Shaul, are leaving LA. Both of these people have made me laugh, have challenged me to be better, and have been there for me unconditionally. True Friends. The Real Deal. The Braintrust. They showed me I could move 3,000 miles away from my best friends in Michigan and find just as amazing friends in his crazy town. They have truly made me a better human in this world.

Although Katie hasn’t just been my friend, she has been my coach since June- and an amazing one at that. When I get down about something, she keeps me positive. Most importantly, this has translated into my own attitude; I can shake it off if something doesn't go the way I want it to in my training and be ready to tackle the next challenge. So along with the excellent programming, a positive attitude, great support, and amazing “Katie Hogan cues”- I feel like I am making great strides along with staying as stress-free as possible in my training when I come from a long day of teaching. I am not just saying this because Katie is my friend either; PRs don’t lie:)

I have changed thanks to the ladies of VCF and, even though Katie is moving, she will always be a part of the magic of the Valley Girls. I mean, I am doing GO RUCK next month. I am scared shiltless!! Why am I doing it? Partly because I want to tell my future children I did it. Partly because I listened to Kris after she did Sealfit try to convince me to do it and SHE believed in me (even though GO RUCK is WAY easier than Sealfit :) and cheaper! ). Partly because Sagi asked me to do it with him, and HE believed in me. Partly because I have already done so many things I NEVER thought I could do in my training and this is something different and scary! But, really, I realized the other day that I would have NEVER signed up to do something like this three years ago...or even a year ago!!! THAT is the cool part. So, thank you to everyone at VCF who has made me who I am today. And to Katie- cheers to the next stage of joy once the sorrow of leaving the valley subsides. I love you so much.

Passion

"Passion rebuilds the world for the youth. It makes all things alive and significant." Ralph Waldo Emerson

While looking through all of the pictures of my friends’ kids on their first days of school, I came across the picture to the left. Not only is this a really cute idea and will be great for her son to look back on as he grows up….but it also got me thinking! I was happy to dream about when I have my own kids and how excited I will be to do things like this, but I also realized that this makes me a little sad. Why? Well, a lot of my high school students that I teach have lost the excitement that cute, little Jacob has in this picture to the left. During the first two weeks of school, I work on getting to know my students. Even if I have had them previous years, things may change so it’s important to figure out what is going on their lives. For 11th grade, I had the students write down where they could potentially see themselves in this world in a few years. It could be a career, or a passion for cleaning up the environment, or really ANYTHING! One of my 11th graders wrote, “ I don’t know what I am doing with my life.” Boom. End of the paper. In contrast, one of my 9th graders typed out a page list of goals, plans, and passion. She went above and beyond the assignment, and I was blown away. This girl was excited for the future. There are many possible reasons for this drastic difference since these girls are completely different in age, personality, family life, etc. etc.; however, I did notice that this 9th grade student participated sports while the other student isn’t involved in anything outside of school. While this may or may not be the reason for my 11th grade student’s bewilderment, I started to ponder this…. While I have always been a goal driven, tenacious person, I also limited myself in many ways: not wanting to leaving my comfort zone of Michigan, not wanting to climb a rope, not wanting to find a new teaching job and be the new person in town again- and with these limits came stress and thus a loss of passion and a fear of the future. I realized how much physical fitness has to do with overall health of the mind and the body. Pushing my physical and mental capacities at Valley Crossfit both in the gym and also in competition has strengthened me and also brought back some of the excitement that I had lost in life. It made me truly believe in myself and not give up on my own dreams- and realize that I truly can handle big life changes-even if they are unplanned. As a teacher, I want to inspire my students to keep the same passion they had as first graders. I want them to realize that they can accomplish anything. I want them to continue to question the world around them and not settle when things don’t make sense….OR settle when they DO make sense. Keep questioning, thinking, and learning. I want them to feel excited and passionate about their future. I want to live that 1st grade passion at 31 years old. I want to believe that anything is possible. And you know what? It is.

Back to school.......

The beauty of hard work

“Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” -Thomas Jefferson

Robe, my teaching partner for 11th grade next year, and I are changing the entire 11th grade curriculum. I have never even taught 11th grade at this school before. He taught this last year but wants to change it up just a bit and I am on board with his ideas. It is pretty exciting. Although this can be very overwhelming because there is SOooo much work to be done. I have to read all the books on top of all the new ones along with brainstorming ideas and figuring out how the hell we can fit it all into three trimesters. This shit ain't easy! However, I realized today this is a lot like my handwalking journey in Crossfit:) I know..you think I am nuts...but this is what I do- make connections. It's fun! Gymnastics is freakin' hard for me. Handwalking has been like a soap opera. Hours upon hours of practice with very little gains...happiness, tears, you name it....partly because it was getting over a fear-which I have FINALLY mastered and partly because it was a hard skill for my brain to acquire. Today I not only went a super far distance but I was more consistent and had some good runs actually within a workout. I realized that planning for this new class is a lot like the extra work I have put into handwalking. Chip away a little at a time and stay focused no matter how long it takes because the reward at the end is THE BEST!!!!! Maybe one day I can even do this!!!

Superhuman?

This past weekend was the Crossfit Games.  If anyone was listening to the live feeds and heard horns blowing – that was myself and a few friends that had the honor and great responsiblity of being given a sacred  hornJ  They may be annoying to those around us in the stands but dammit…..Kris, Lindsey, and Becca heard that shit. When they got tired, they heard the horns and knew we were with them (or at least I like to pretend that is what happens). You can see me with my red horn and 2010 Crossfit Games cowboy hat in this picture looking very intense.  

“The Crossfit games is about human character and the belief we can master anything with enough effort - even ourselves.”  ~from the video below

This totally applies to my job as a teacher. I am doing a lot of reading and lesson planning because I am teaching 11th grade next year for the first time at this school. The literature I choose or the angle in which I teach it, the stories I share with my students, the movies, the art-  everything is chosen with great thought . The idea of helping students begin to believe in themselves, develop integrity, and make this world a better place are the big reasons I teach high school English. While I personally am at a different stage of this journey than my students, we are all on a journey nonetheless. Therefore, as I have pushed myself to become a competitive Crossfit athlete over the past few years, it has also made me a better teacher.

A lot of my friends always tell me how much it stinks that I am in the SoCal Region because there are so many great athletes here. I mean, holy crap, all four of the SoCal girls were in the TOP 10 AT THE FREAKING CROSSFIT GAMES THIS YEAR. I mean, yeah, I would have a better shot at qualifying somewhere else possibly. Yeah, I think some regions need more spots. Yeah, there might be a different way to do it. We could sit here and play the numbers game all day and talk about how it isn’t fair but nothing is going to change. AND...Most importantly, one of the biggest reasons I am the crossfitter that I am today IS from the support of Kris, Becca, Katie, and Lindsey. hahah so what is a gal to do?! :)   Well, what I CAN do is realize that battling it out with the top contenders at regionals only makes me better. I was definitely the most scared and challenged this year, and guess what? Next year will be heavier, scarier, and even more competitive.

However, putting myself out there makes me a better wife, teacher, friend, and athlete- and future mother. While I may have only ended up in 13^th this past year at Regionals, I realized that I could hang with the big wigs and hold my own.  It made me believe that I can get even better while also giving me some perspective on what to focus on for the next year in my training along with some new goals- with the end goal, as always, of actually making it to The Games as an individual. But if this doesn’t happen I am not going to deem my efforts a failure. It is all part of MY journey.

This is exactly what I want for my students, not necessarily being a Crossfit athlete, but pushing themselves to be better humans in this world, being afraid, taking risks, not making excuses, and finding the positive in each situation. I want them to make this world better but that isn’t easy to do if you don’t have self confidence and the drive to attack your weaknesses all while handling the ups and downs of training but also life. Crossfit tests all of these things within me and makes me better. I want my students to grow up with that same resiliency.

Our red VCF shirts say “Superhero Training” but in reality “What people experience when they come to the Games is not the superhuman but the very human.”

Another year in the books!!

I made it, folks!!! It is now the end of the Crossfit season (for me☺) AND the end of the school year. It has taken me a while to even begin writing a blog about Regionals because Monday morning bright and early I was thrown back into the midst of teaching 9th graders. While I was REALLY happy with how regionals went, I didn’t have a lot of time for reflection because I was so stressed/excited/anxious about wrapping up the school year. It is a great feeling when you realize that all of your hard work has paid off. For some reason I like to make myself panicked about the fact that this might not happen, and I do this to myself EVERY year in both Crossfit and my teaching career. Throughout the school year, I feel defeated. I am never happy with my lesson plans because I always want them to be better or feel the kids aren’t listening to me when I try to inspire them. With Crossfit, I feel like my progress in the gym is slow and always feel behind. However, this is my 8th year of teaching and my 3rd year competiting in Crossfit and, dammit, I should know better at this point! I found this quote the other day and it really hit home.

“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it” ~Thoreau

I mean, don’t get me wrong...you still have to have a plan for success...but I do find myself busy, moving to project to project, and always focused on what is next that I never really see or feel progress being made. So, I guess this is why sometimes it all hits me and I am completely overwhelmed by how far I have come or how much my students have learned. I was never a high school or college athlete. When I started Crossfitting I thought I would never get a muscle up and I was scared of doing forward rolls and being upside down in a handstand. And, I NEVER thought I would climb a rope due to my deathly fear of heights. So after regionals this year instead of planning next years goals or thinking about how many rest days I should take, I made myself stop for a second just be proud of myself. My friends teased me that I had a huge smile on my face coming out for the WODs and how it looked like I was coming out to a beauty pagent; we all had a good laugh about it. I guess part of that smile was the excitement, part of it was the nervousness, and part was, of course, the fact that I love cameras and attention, but really, what I think made me the most happy was the fact that I made it. Regionals gets bigger every year, and this year I could really feel it!! Maybe it was the fact that the audience was closer to the arena than last year, or maybe it was because Jared got to cheer me on this year, or maybe it was just because I had a date with muscle ups, or maybe it was because I worked even harder than last year, or MAYBE it was that my super awesome friend Anton took over as my coach for the weekend with an offical coach's pass and everything. I don’t know….but it was time for the hard work to pay off, and well, that is exciting and made me smile REALLY big. Well....at least SOME of the time! I was SO nervous about making it through all three days, since that was one of my goals coming out of regionals last year. So, the hour I had to wait after the snatch latter (which wasn't my best event) to see if I would make top 18 so I could have my date with destiny (muscle ups) was the worst. After bombing out on muscle ups the last two years at Regionals, I was basically hyperventilating while waiting for the results. And boy...once they came it...there were lots of tears and then it was time to kick into gear for WOD 6 :) One of the most memorable competition WODs I have done thus far. The best part of it all was that Anton, Jared, and TONS of VCFers were directly behind me metaphorically and physically. It was just plain fucking awesome. Upon returning to school I felt like I was on cloud 9. How could everyone just be walking to class right now? Don’t they know what just happened this weekend? HOW CAN EVERYONE JUST BE ACTING NORMAL??? Anyway, once we finished up the Othello essays I decided to give my 9th graders an assignment called“6 Things I learned in English Class” that modeled after the ESPN articles “6 Things you should know about_______” presented in every edition. This way they could demonstrate what they learned in a more creative way. You know what? Turns out the students WERE listening after all! I decided to put just a few of my favorites in my blog!

Crossfit Inspiration: When Mrs. Ryan tells me her crazy stories about crossfit, it makes me believe in myself as a runner, especially because she makes me feel like she believes in my too, as a student and an athlete. Because of her ability to teach many English classes on top of doing crossfit really well, it makes me feel like I can get better times and records in track, on top of keeping up with my schoolwork, and that’s important.

There are no boundaries: I remember a recent conversation in class about how men are normally stronger than women, but Mrs. Ryan proves this stereotype wrong with her dedication to crossfit. She even competes in professional competition. I admire Mrs. Ryan’s hard work and dedication because I too have interests that are not considered “normal” for my ethnicity, like skateboarding. But Mrs. Ryan has taught me to be myself, no matter what others think.

From teacher to student: This year Mrs. Ryan has also greatly helped me grow as a student and a person in this class. She has a great fun loving attitude and makes everyone in the class feel comfortable. I feel like I can share anything with the class and Mrs. Ryan will be appreciative of anything that I have to say. Her crazy stories are fun while motivating us and showing us that we can accomplish if we really try. Mrs. Ryan has been my favorite teacher this year for those reasons, she is fun and inspiring and helped me greatly become a better writer, analyzer, and person.

And SO....another Crossfit season and school year ends and I sure as hell am smiling! :)