From an 8-9 finger gap to a 1-2 finger gap!!

Big Tummy updates for those that are interested or going through your own journey of healing after giving birth. This is long...and conversational....

For a few days, I totally believed I would need tummy surgery, and wouldn’t be able to pick Chase up for 6 weeks. The first doctor (sports doc) I talked to that actually KNEW what diastasis recti was told me I wouldn’t be able to support another baby without the surgery. Because he was the first doctor to actually address the issue, I believed everything he said. I posted on Facebook to get surgeon recommendations, and I had more doctor appointments for more opinions scheduled but not for a few weeks.

As the next few days went by I started to calm down and gather more information. I found moms through my mommy facebook page that have had the surgery, but I found most of them waited until AFTER they were done having kids. Many told me they tried PT only to find that the gap just wouldn’t close. I also found another woman who had a 6 finger gap and healed it back to a 3 finger gap in 18 months. There were so many kinds of stories out there. While small gaps are common (most don’t even know what it is or how to heal it), larger ones certainly aren’t that rare either (I found a lot of women online dealing with issues similar to mine). However, with so many different stories out there, I still didn’t know what to expect with my particular case.

I called my lactation specialist who was my angel the first few months with Chase. I couldn’t have breastfeed without her and valued her opinion. She told me to breathe and that I could have a baby whenever I wanted to and that I just might have to wear a girdle to support my belly (which I did with the first pregnancy anyway because my belly was HUGE). She said I am super strong and my body can definitely handle it. Okay, that isn’t so bad….still more info to go...

In the meantime, I am trying to get a damn script for PT. I wanted a freaking physical therapist to look at me and see what he/she thought about it. You would think I was trying to get a script for vicodin.

I called the OB office, and they refused to give me one since this was a post baby issue. The sports doctor refused to write me a PT script and told me if could heal this on my own then he would write an article about me.

I went back to the primary care doctor I saw. She told me originally that they “don’t do that” for DR since nothing is “wrong.” She did tell me after I saw the surgeon she recommended to me to call back if I still wanted the script. Okay, great….. I’ll have a surgeon feel around in there and see what they say.

I called the surgeon’s office, and they don’t want to see me without a CT. A CT???? I mean sure if I NEED a CT I will get one but can’t someone just FEELING MY F@#$ING STOMACH and give me an opinion first? If nothing is “wrong,” why do I need a CT? The hunt continues….

Next up...I had TWO really good PTs recommended to me that specialize in women issues, and they both knew the size of my gap and STILL wanted to see me. There was hope! I realized that I might need surgery but why not at least TRY to do it on my own or at least get an OPINION from someone that works with muscles all the time. With shaking hands, I called back the primary care office and asked for the script….I had to wait a day to see if it went through and it did. Thank goodness.

I met my PT. She really knew her stuff, and she also had been Crossfitting for 6 months and loving it. This helped because she could tell me what to do/not to do at the gym. For the most part I was on the right track with my Crossfit modifications- that was good news! I left the first appointment hopeful but realistic. She said she can’t make any promises but that we could try a few things. 1) she did some muscle release and massaging of my c section scar. The problem was that my abs were in the wrong place AND they were really strong and tight (so they weren’t moving). 2) She gave me some more intense stuff to do than the MuTu program I was doing at home. Basically, I squeeze together my fat, skin, and rectus abdominus muscles and do a slight sit up using my transverse abdominus. I started just barely lifting my chin but now she has me actually lift up my shoulders. I do this a few times a day.

Next up...an appointment with my old gynecologist (she doesn’t do deliveries anymore). She is amazing, so I had to wait 3 weeks to see her but it was well worth it. She knew what DR was and was so calm and helpful. The good news was I didn’t have a hernia (which was my other big concern- that would be surgery for sure). She told me to continue PT and see what comes of it, but she also suggested I also talk to a surgeon. She gave me the name of a plastic surgeon that is excellent but will not pressure surgery if it is not needed. Also, she said since my back hurts that he will be able to get the insurance to cover it (the other thing I was freaking out about). The most important news..I can have another baby whenever I want (not that we are ready yet). Another piece to the puzzle…and no surgery for now. Whew! I scheduled an appointment with the surgeon anyway just to gather more information for the future.

Well, I guess I should give the sports doctor a call back because…. my gap is down from 8-9 fingers to almost a 1. Yes… ONE!!?? I still can’t believe the progress that I had made in less than 2 months going to PT twice a week. The PT was beyond thrilled and called in other PTs to come check out this crazy story. And no one thought PT was going to do anything, huh?

I canceled my appointment with the surgeon for now, anyway.

Along with seeing the PT this is what I do each day:

~doing my special sit ups a few times a day

~lots of perfect planks

~I wrapped my stomach during the day for awhile. Now that I have healed my PT has told me to stop doing this since my abs are functioning better and she wants them to gain strength again.

~using PT tape on my stomach (see pictures). First, she did the cross taping, but now that I have healed more we just do the 3 strips across.

~still doing some of the MuTu exercises. Why not? anything that can help!

~laying off lifting heavy at the gym (staying moderate weight), no sit ups, no kipping pull ups, ring dips, or hspus (only strict in these movements), burpees on my knees, no T2b, no o lifting...doing extra KB work (sub this for barbell a lot of the time) and lots of lunges and squats! (Now that I am pretty much healed I get to slowly go back to doing all of these exercises which is so exciting for me. My PT is monitoring my every move :) )

~sitting up straight. This is way harder than you might imagine if you don’t pay attention to it. I don’t even sit that much during the day since I am not back to work yet…. but when I am sitting in a chair feeding chase, or sitting on the ground, or typing this blog… you better believe I am sitting up really damn straight.

~ no heels

~ I also just weaned completely, which I personally thinking helped me heal as my hormones re-regulated themselves.

~positive attitude

Even at a 1, my stomach still sticks out from extra skin, trauma, and who knows what else. I am trying hard to accept this, and it isn’t easy as no amount of working out and eating clean (which I do anyway) is going to make this better. So, I will post the pictures here in hopes that other moms are learning to love those post-baby bellies too. It sure as hell isn’t easy, but Chase is sure as hell worth it.

You have to advocate for yourself and fight hard for answers. Everyone that has DR, whether it is a 2 finger or an 8 finger, is going to have a different experience with the healing process along with other possible complications. However, there is not nearly enough education about this out there at ALL. Please pass along this information to any mothers you know. Both the during and after of my next pregnancy will be so much different with the knowledge I have gained. Stay tuned ;)

This is with 8-9 finger gap before I started this process. I posted this in my last blog.

These are the two different taping methods we have tried:

This is how I look right now:

Longer the journey, sweeter the success!

Well, it has been about month into my rehab to heal my tummy! I got upset just a few days ago wishing that progress would be a little faster. There is some progress that has been made, but it is smaller than I would like it to be. However, tonight I realized two things.

I should probably get a waist cincher! I was against this after my c section. I had a light binder I got from the hospital that I wore so I didn’t feel like my insides would fall out, but I never got anything more intense. I wanted to strengthen my abs more organically. After talking to Brianna Battles from Birthfit in California, I realized that these cinchers can help hold my split abs together and really help the healing process. So I am going to give the Squeem a try, wear it around the house while bending down and picking up Chase all day, fix my posture (been trying to be more aware but this thing won't allow me to hunch over), and keep an open mind. I am actually kind of excited about something else I can add into my healing practice. I’ll let you all know what happens. I hope I can breathe! :)

Cyndi Burnstein posted my video talking about the advisory program at New School High. A few of my former students wrote some nice things that made me cry. I literally just stood in the shower tonight and cried for like two minutes (so dramatic, typical). In the crazy high school teaching schedule you just keep moving along, wondering if anyone is really listening to you. Well, they are! Really! Similarly, I have been trucking along the last month doing my exercises, modifying at the gym, and wondering if it is going to help and wondering when I can do a heavy squat clean again. However, I keep reminding myself that once I am fully healed the success will be even sweeter since the journey has been much longer than expected. There is a reason I will never forget the day I got my first muscle up. I remember what I was wearing, who was there, what time it was, what the rings looked like...basically everything. That is because it took me six months to get there, along with mental and physical struggles along the way. These kind, thoughtful comments from my former students reminded me just how blessed I am to have been able to teach for the past ten years at three different schools, to be a part of the amazing New School High, to have such a happy son, to have a husband that is supportive of these goals in my life, and to have loving friends and family. Once my current goals are reached, I will feel AMAZING... and but then it will be on to new goals in fitness, career, and life. The journey is never ending. I cannot forget that.

** Since my last post I have talked to at least three other women that have realized they have DR that had no clue about it before...please help me spread the word! Here is the link to a GREAT article on diastasis recti by Brianna Battles!! Please send this around!!!!! I wish someone sent this to me before/during my pregnancy!

Part-time teacher next year, Mother all day, Crossfitter at noon

I’ve been thinking about writing something for the past few months to talk about my journey back into Crossfit after having my son Chase. I normally leave the gym each day with all these inspirational ideas in my head, then by the time night rolls around and Chase is asleep I feel like my head is just one big blur. I am still adjusting to stay at home mom life. I am sure once I get it all down, it will be time to start working again :) All of my inspirational thoughts probably would have only accumulated into a short little Facebook post. However, a few days ago I had a setback that demanded a blog post to actually happen.

Let’s start with this photo. This is a photo of my post-baby stomach in all of its glory (it used to be much larger). It isn’t pretty, but it bore human life (and a pretty cute one at that:) ). The reason I am showing you all my stomach that I normally spend so much time trying to hide with cute baggy blouses (thank god that style is in right now!) is to educate you. If you are a woman that likes to lift heavy and/or crossfit and also wants to have a baby, listen up!

When I got on the scale at the doctor I noticed I lost all but 4 damn pounds of my pre-baby, crossfit regional competitor, in-shape self. Damn! Well, that is exciting. I have been eating well and working out….. but….. WTF?! Why do I still look 5 months pregnant? I mean I plan to fully embrace the stretch marks, loose skin, and my c section scar. I don’t expect to have a 6 pack right now, and I am not asking for a miracle! However, having a weird, large, round, and hard belly (no, it isn’t even flabby fat which would totally make sense...) is unsettling.

I went to my new OB in Michigan, since I couldn’t see my doctor in LA, of course. She said everything looked fine, no hernia, uterus was good. I asked her to check my abs...yup, all was good. Hmmm.. I wondered...okay, well I did gain 50 pounds in the pregnancy, I have a short little torso, and I was pretty huge (a few friends told me they “feared for me” when she saw me around 40 weeks prego) ...so fine….I am just kinda screwed up and need more time to get back to normal. Makes sense! I am also still nursing so that can mess with hormones and whatnot. Plus, it hasn’t even been a year yet so I told myself to suck it up and move on, ...... back to Crossfit. I felt blessed that I recovered from major stomach surgery well (that is scary stuff!) and patted myself on the back for coming back slowly and not going too fast and hurting myself. I felt like I had EARNED all of my PRs that I was getting at 10 months postpartum. I was patient and now I finally get to push harder and harder! Bring it!! I was PRing like crazy during this #comeback process and feeling like I was getting MY body back. I felt fresh, fun, and free and would get excited to see what each day would bring. I was truly enjoying the journey because I had no deadline, no competition, no pressure but my own goals. It was invigorating.

Little did I know... I WAS hurting something .... I was separating my abs more and more, and I had no clue because everything felt totally fine. And this comes from someone that got pretty good at listening to her own body over the years of competitions. After talking to some more women, I learned I have diastasis recti. This is why my stomach was stuck. It isn’t serious but actually very common. I have a huge creepy gap in my abs. Lots of movements I do at crossfit like lifting heavy weight, preforming toes to bar, and doing sit ups makes this problem worse (Anything that pushes your abs outward). Instead, I needed to be strengthening my transversus abdominis muscles to bring the abs back together. If I would have known, I would have treated my recovery so differently. 2 steps forward, 1 step back….

When I found this out I had a little pity party for myself for about 48 hours, talked to as many people as I could to gather information, and then was ready to move forward. I was angry my OB in LA didn’t warn me. She knew me well and knew about my Crossfit life! So I had to look for answers. I was posting to forums online looking around in a panic for answers. I didn't realize I had accidentally posted one of my frantic questions so people could see it on the Facebook feed. I felt bad for having a pity party all over Facebook because I have so much to be thankful for and this was just a set-back in my Crossfit game. It isn’t too late to fix it, and I most likely will be able to do it on my own since I will be very diligent in my rehab exercises. However, I realized once it went public that I should totally just write about it and help to spread awareness! So I decided I will share my journey of healing my DR.

I have included a few links to websites that have helped me this past week. I am doing the MuTu program at home each night, looking to the Breaking Muscle recovery plan exercises to help me modify the WOD each day at Crossfit, and following Brianna Battles and her “Everyday Battles” blog. The night I sat down to start the MuTu program I listened to the introduction video and all the symptoms of DR and CRIED!!! I had every. single. thing. she. described! I may have been alone at home, but I have never felt in better company! FINALLY, someone was talking my language. FINALLY, it all made sense. And with the next kid (God willing) l will be prepared with a better recovery plan!

I'm grateful for the competitive mindset that I have learned from my Valley Crossfit family for the five years I was in LA. While that mindset helped me be a great local and regional competitor, it translated to my everyday life. I made a plan to move forward and kick this DR! Even though I will miss the feeling of maxing out on lifts and will have to wait a little longer to get my muscle up back….. it will be a new and different kind of journey that will allow me to learn even MORE about my body and in the end, when I do make a full comeback- it will be just be that much sweeter.

****Please forgive the conversational writing, grammar, and typos. I am a tired momma :) ****