Passion

"Passion rebuilds the world for the youth. It makes all things alive and significant." Ralph Waldo Emerson

While looking through all of the pictures of my friends’ kids on their first days of school, I came across the picture to the left. Not only is this a really cute idea and will be great for her son to look back on as he grows up….but it also got me thinking! I was happy to dream about when I have my own kids and how excited I will be to do things like this, but I also realized that this makes me a little sad. Why? Well, a lot of my high school students that I teach have lost the excitement that cute, little Jacob has in this picture to the left. During the first two weeks of school, I work on getting to know my students. Even if I have had them previous years, things may change so it’s important to figure out what is going on their lives. For 11th grade, I had the students write down where they could potentially see themselves in this world in a few years. It could be a career, or a passion for cleaning up the environment, or really ANYTHING! One of my 11th graders wrote, “ I don’t know what I am doing with my life.” Boom. End of the paper. In contrast, one of my 9th graders typed out a page list of goals, plans, and passion. She went above and beyond the assignment, and I was blown away. This girl was excited for the future. There are many possible reasons for this drastic difference since these girls are completely different in age, personality, family life, etc. etc.; however, I did notice that this 9th grade student participated sports while the other student isn’t involved in anything outside of school. While this may or may not be the reason for my 11th grade student’s bewilderment, I started to ponder this…. While I have always been a goal driven, tenacious person, I also limited myself in many ways: not wanting to leaving my comfort zone of Michigan, not wanting to climb a rope, not wanting to find a new teaching job and be the new person in town again- and with these limits came stress and thus a loss of passion and a fear of the future. I realized how much physical fitness has to do with overall health of the mind and the body. Pushing my physical and mental capacities at Valley Crossfit both in the gym and also in competition has strengthened me and also brought back some of the excitement that I had lost in life. It made me truly believe in myself and not give up on my own dreams- and realize that I truly can handle big life changes-even if they are unplanned. As a teacher, I want to inspire my students to keep the same passion they had as first graders. I want them to realize that they can accomplish anything. I want them to continue to question the world around them and not settle when things don’t make sense….OR settle when they DO make sense. Keep questioning, thinking, and learning. I want them to feel excited and passionate about their future. I want to live that 1st grade passion at 31 years old. I want to believe that anything is possible. And you know what? It is.

Back to school.......

The beauty of hard work

“Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” -Thomas Jefferson

Robe, my teaching partner for 11th grade next year, and I are changing the entire 11th grade curriculum. I have never even taught 11th grade at this school before. He taught this last year but wants to change it up just a bit and I am on board with his ideas. It is pretty exciting. Although this can be very overwhelming because there is SOooo much work to be done. I have to read all the books on top of all the new ones along with brainstorming ideas and figuring out how the hell we can fit it all into three trimesters. This shit ain't easy! However, I realized today this is a lot like my handwalking journey in Crossfit:) I know..you think I am nuts...but this is what I do- make connections. It's fun! Gymnastics is freakin' hard for me. Handwalking has been like a soap opera. Hours upon hours of practice with very little gains...happiness, tears, you name it....partly because it was getting over a fear-which I have FINALLY mastered and partly because it was a hard skill for my brain to acquire. Today I not only went a super far distance but I was more consistent and had some good runs actually within a workout. I realized that planning for this new class is a lot like the extra work I have put into handwalking. Chip away a little at a time and stay focused no matter how long it takes because the reward at the end is THE BEST!!!!! Maybe one day I can even do this!!!

Superhuman?

This past weekend was the Crossfit Games.  If anyone was listening to the live feeds and heard horns blowing – that was myself and a few friends that had the honor and great responsiblity of being given a sacred  hornJ  They may be annoying to those around us in the stands but dammit…..Kris, Lindsey, and Becca heard that shit. When they got tired, they heard the horns and knew we were with them (or at least I like to pretend that is what happens). You can see me with my red horn and 2010 Crossfit Games cowboy hat in this picture looking very intense.  

“The Crossfit games is about human character and the belief we can master anything with enough effort - even ourselves.”  ~from the video below

This totally applies to my job as a teacher. I am doing a lot of reading and lesson planning because I am teaching 11th grade next year for the first time at this school. The literature I choose or the angle in which I teach it, the stories I share with my students, the movies, the art-  everything is chosen with great thought . The idea of helping students begin to believe in themselves, develop integrity, and make this world a better place are the big reasons I teach high school English. While I personally am at a different stage of this journey than my students, we are all on a journey nonetheless. Therefore, as I have pushed myself to become a competitive Crossfit athlete over the past few years, it has also made me a better teacher.

A lot of my friends always tell me how much it stinks that I am in the SoCal Region because there are so many great athletes here. I mean, holy crap, all four of the SoCal girls were in the TOP 10 AT THE FREAKING CROSSFIT GAMES THIS YEAR. I mean, yeah, I would have a better shot at qualifying somewhere else possibly. Yeah, I think some regions need more spots. Yeah, there might be a different way to do it. We could sit here and play the numbers game all day and talk about how it isn’t fair but nothing is going to change. AND...Most importantly, one of the biggest reasons I am the crossfitter that I am today IS from the support of Kris, Becca, Katie, and Lindsey. hahah so what is a gal to do?! :)   Well, what I CAN do is realize that battling it out with the top contenders at regionals only makes me better. I was definitely the most scared and challenged this year, and guess what? Next year will be heavier, scarier, and even more competitive.

However, putting myself out there makes me a better wife, teacher, friend, and athlete- and future mother. While I may have only ended up in 13^th this past year at Regionals, I realized that I could hang with the big wigs and hold my own.  It made me believe that I can get even better while also giving me some perspective on what to focus on for the next year in my training along with some new goals- with the end goal, as always, of actually making it to The Games as an individual. But if this doesn’t happen I am not going to deem my efforts a failure. It is all part of MY journey.

This is exactly what I want for my students, not necessarily being a Crossfit athlete, but pushing themselves to be better humans in this world, being afraid, taking risks, not making excuses, and finding the positive in each situation. I want them to make this world better but that isn’t easy to do if you don’t have self confidence and the drive to attack your weaknesses all while handling the ups and downs of training but also life. Crossfit tests all of these things within me and makes me better. I want my students to grow up with that same resiliency.

Our red VCF shirts say “Superhero Training” but in reality “What people experience when they come to the Games is not the superhuman but the very human.”

Another year in the books!!

I made it, folks!!! It is now the end of the Crossfit season (for me☺) AND the end of the school year. It has taken me a while to even begin writing a blog about Regionals because Monday morning bright and early I was thrown back into the midst of teaching 9th graders. While I was REALLY happy with how regionals went, I didn’t have a lot of time for reflection because I was so stressed/excited/anxious about wrapping up the school year. It is a great feeling when you realize that all of your hard work has paid off. For some reason I like to make myself panicked about the fact that this might not happen, and I do this to myself EVERY year in both Crossfit and my teaching career. Throughout the school year, I feel defeated. I am never happy with my lesson plans because I always want them to be better or feel the kids aren’t listening to me when I try to inspire them. With Crossfit, I feel like my progress in the gym is slow and always feel behind. However, this is my 8th year of teaching and my 3rd year competiting in Crossfit and, dammit, I should know better at this point! I found this quote the other day and it really hit home.

“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it” ~Thoreau

I mean, don’t get me wrong...you still have to have a plan for success...but I do find myself busy, moving to project to project, and always focused on what is next that I never really see or feel progress being made. So, I guess this is why sometimes it all hits me and I am completely overwhelmed by how far I have come or how much my students have learned. I was never a high school or college athlete. When I started Crossfitting I thought I would never get a muscle up and I was scared of doing forward rolls and being upside down in a handstand. And, I NEVER thought I would climb a rope due to my deathly fear of heights. So after regionals this year instead of planning next years goals or thinking about how many rest days I should take, I made myself stop for a second just be proud of myself. My friends teased me that I had a huge smile on my face coming out for the WODs and how it looked like I was coming out to a beauty pagent; we all had a good laugh about it. I guess part of that smile was the excitement, part of it was the nervousness, and part was, of course, the fact that I love cameras and attention, but really, what I think made me the most happy was the fact that I made it. Regionals gets bigger every year, and this year I could really feel it!! Maybe it was the fact that the audience was closer to the arena than last year, or maybe it was because Jared got to cheer me on this year, or maybe it was just because I had a date with muscle ups, or maybe it was because I worked even harder than last year, or MAYBE it was that my super awesome friend Anton took over as my coach for the weekend with an offical coach's pass and everything. I don’t know….but it was time for the hard work to pay off, and well, that is exciting and made me smile REALLY big. Well....at least SOME of the time! I was SO nervous about making it through all three days, since that was one of my goals coming out of regionals last year. So, the hour I had to wait after the snatch latter (which wasn't my best event) to see if I would make top 18 so I could have my date with destiny (muscle ups) was the worst. After bombing out on muscle ups the last two years at Regionals, I was basically hyperventilating while waiting for the results. And boy...once they came it...there were lots of tears and then it was time to kick into gear for WOD 6 :) One of the most memorable competition WODs I have done thus far. The best part of it all was that Anton, Jared, and TONS of VCFers were directly behind me metaphorically and physically. It was just plain fucking awesome. Upon returning to school I felt like I was on cloud 9. How could everyone just be walking to class right now? Don’t they know what just happened this weekend? HOW CAN EVERYONE JUST BE ACTING NORMAL??? Anyway, once we finished up the Othello essays I decided to give my 9th graders an assignment called“6 Things I learned in English Class” that modeled after the ESPN articles “6 Things you should know about_______” presented in every edition. This way they could demonstrate what they learned in a more creative way. You know what? Turns out the students WERE listening after all! I decided to put just a few of my favorites in my blog!

Crossfit Inspiration: When Mrs. Ryan tells me her crazy stories about crossfit, it makes me believe in myself as a runner, especially because she makes me feel like she believes in my too, as a student and an athlete. Because of her ability to teach many English classes on top of doing crossfit really well, it makes me feel like I can get better times and records in track, on top of keeping up with my schoolwork, and that’s important.

There are no boundaries: I remember a recent conversation in class about how men are normally stronger than women, but Mrs. Ryan proves this stereotype wrong with her dedication to crossfit. She even competes in professional competition. I admire Mrs. Ryan’s hard work and dedication because I too have interests that are not considered “normal” for my ethnicity, like skateboarding. But Mrs. Ryan has taught me to be myself, no matter what others think.

From teacher to student: This year Mrs. Ryan has also greatly helped me grow as a student and a person in this class. She has a great fun loving attitude and makes everyone in the class feel comfortable. I feel like I can share anything with the class and Mrs. Ryan will be appreciative of anything that I have to say. Her crazy stories are fun while motivating us and showing us that we can accomplish if we really try. Mrs. Ryan has been my favorite teacher this year for those reasons, she is fun and inspiring and helped me greatly become a better writer, analyzer, and person.

And SO....another Crossfit season and school year ends and I sure as hell am smiling! :)

Teachable Moments.

So it’s last block and I am giving my students a run down of what is going on for this week since I”ll be missing two days of school for Regionals. A few students ask some questions about the competition, so I explain what I am in store for this weekend. Watching their eyes bug out after telling them some of the WODs was the best. This is my chattest class AND it's last block AND they were all silently listening to me. Score! A few of the boys ask me how well I need to do in order to make it to the next step in July, so I continue explaining the process. Another one of my students tells me to “WIN!” And there it was…..a teachable moment that I couldn’t pass up. Othello would have to wait a minute….so I told the class that it wasn’t about winning. Then another student says, “then why do they call it a competition?”
Valid Question. So I clarified what I meant….
We all want to win! Who doesn’t want to win? Winning is FUN and AMAZING! Yes, when I am regionals I will be trying to beat other girls. Yes, I want to see how well I can do on the leaderboard. Yes, I want to make it to the Crossfit Games in July. However, if that becomes the only thing that it is about, then problems arise and don’t feel you will ever be at your very best.
I explained to the class about my experience with muscle ups over the last two regionals and how I have my own personal goals to actually make it to that WOD and how I want to perform in that WOD along with lots of other goals, too….and those are just as important as beating the girl next to me. I have went all year long with passion, determination, and excitement working toward these personal goals, so this is about me and nobody else.
One girl in the front row piped up and said that is exactly what her track coach told her the other day and once she started focusing more on herself….she got a huge PR and, as a result, placed high in her track meet. Wow! Could this have been a better moment in class? Can I just go home now and call it a day? Anyway, that track coach sounds like a damn good guy. In fact, he has been doing Crossfit for just under a year now. I remember the day he asked me to help him get started!
I am lucky to have those types of coaches around me every day at Valley to remind me of what is important, even if they are my competition this weekend:) However, we will all be out there fighting our own personal battles though…… because that is what it is truly about.

I'm Back!

Well, here I am! (That is for YOU, my three followers of this blog. LOL)I know I stopped blogging for a while there. I got a little sick after the Open and my parents came into two for a few weeks to visit, which was awesome!!The Open was long but great! I stuck to my rules that I made for myself, which made the Open pretty smooth for me. Don’t get me wrong. Negative thoughts entered my head throughout the long 5 weeks of the Open. Although I do have to say I did a pretty good job kicking those negative thoughts in the ass! I really feel like this year’s Open has helped me in my mental game. Every time a negative thought entered my head I replaced it a positive one, a positive rep, or a feeling of excitement. Most importantly, these positive thoughts weren’t forced but rather I made myself actually BELIEVE them. I had to work hard to do this but as the weeks trudged on….I kept at it. As I am sitting here recaping the Open, I realized I need to be doing the same thing right now for Regionals!!! Regionals training has been tough –trying to get all the extra stuff in while also teaching. I was spoiled last year because regionals was after school got out. However, I did what I needed to do without feeling too sorry for myself or letting myself get into that "victim" mentality again:)I have to give a shout out to Jared, my hubby, for being so supportive with my crazy schedule and mood swings:):) In fact, I just gave my students this same speech last week in class. Since we got back from spring break, I caught three students cheating, have a long list of kids with missing homework, and, on top of that, students can’t even remember to bring their damn Othello books to class. I always joke with my students at the end of the year and tell them “not to fall off the ship.” “The ship is sailing and isn’t to port until mid-June.” This year one of the class clowns pipes up and says, “But what if we hit an iceberg?!” I respond, “Don’t worry. I am a good captain.” And we all have a laugh. I am desperate to motivate my students right now. I find myself in the same predicament every year at this time; it is very hard for the kids to focus and begin to feel like everyday we are one step closer to sinking. Will I change all of the kids? Absolutely not. However, I always try my best each year. This year I decided to tell them about my training program because most of the time if I talk about Crossfit they actually listen. I explained that I am at the gym for 2 to 3 hours every night doing workouts, strength, skills, and anything else to get ready for Regionals. Many nights have been spent in the parking lot of my gym, in the dark, alone, pushing/pulling weight. I explained to them that it would be easy for me to skip it, quit half way through, or go home to sleep, but I don’t. It is so much more important to me that my students learn work ethics, perseverance, and integrity rather than comma rules. So, I figure if I can try to model this to them as much as possible, it will help. On that note, I am so excited yet nervous for Regionals. I have a lot of goals set for myself that I have been thinking about since last year’s regional. These nerves have seemed to get the best of me lately, but I need to be my own damn captain- nobody can do it for me. I need to control my thoughts like I did in the Open so I don’t let any 70 pound icebergs throw me around. I am the one in control!! Let’s do this!