I’ve been thinking about writing something for the past few months to talk about my journey back into Crossfit after having my son Chase. I normally leave the gym each day with all these inspirational ideas in my head, then by the time night rolls around and Chase is asleep I feel like my head is just one big blur. I am still adjusting to stay at home mom life. I am sure once I get it all down, it will be time to start working again :) All of my inspirational thoughts probably would have only accumulated into a short little Facebook post. However, a few days ago I had a setback that demanded a blog post to actually happen.
Let’s start with this photo. This is a photo of my post-baby stomach in all of its glory (it used to be much larger). It isn’t pretty, but it bore human life (and a pretty cute one at that:) ). The reason I am showing you all my stomach that I normally spend so much time trying to hide with cute baggy blouses (thank god that style is in right now!) is to educate you. If you are a woman that likes to lift heavy and/or crossfit and also wants to have a baby, listen up!
When I got on the scale at the doctor I noticed I lost all but 4 damn pounds of my pre-baby, crossfit regional competitor, in-shape self. Damn! Well, that is exciting. I have been eating well and working out….. but….. WTF?! Why do I still look 5 months pregnant? I mean I plan to fully embrace the stretch marks, loose skin, and my c section scar. I don’t expect to have a 6 pack right now, and I am not asking for a miracle! However, having a weird, large, round, and hard belly (no, it isn’t even flabby fat which would totally make sense...) is unsettling.
I went to my new OB in Michigan, since I couldn’t see my doctor in LA, of course. She said everything looked fine, no hernia, uterus was good. I asked her to check my abs...yup, all was good. Hmmm.. I wondered...okay, well I did gain 50 pounds in the pregnancy, I have a short little torso, and I was pretty huge (a few friends told me they “feared for me” when she saw me around 40 weeks prego) ...so fine….I am just kinda screwed up and need more time to get back to normal. Makes sense! I am also still nursing so that can mess with hormones and whatnot. Plus, it hasn’t even been a year yet so I told myself to suck it up and move on, ...... back to Crossfit. I felt blessed that I recovered from major stomach surgery well (that is scary stuff!) and patted myself on the back for coming back slowly and not going too fast and hurting myself. I felt like I had EARNED all of my PRs that I was getting at 10 months postpartum. I was patient and now I finally get to push harder and harder! Bring it!! I was PRing like crazy during this #comeback process and feeling like I was getting MY body back. I felt fresh, fun, and free and would get excited to see what each day would bring. I was truly enjoying the journey because I had no deadline, no competition, no pressure but my own goals. It was invigorating.
Little did I know... I WAS hurting something .... I was separating my abs more and more, and I had no clue because everything felt totally fine. And this comes from someone that got pretty good at listening to her own body over the years of competitions. After talking to some more women, I learned I have diastasis recti. This is why my stomach was stuck. It isn’t serious but actually very common. I have a huge creepy gap in my abs. Lots of movements I do at crossfit like lifting heavy weight, preforming toes to bar, and doing sit ups makes this problem worse (Anything that pushes your abs outward). Instead, I needed to be strengthening my transversus abdominis muscles to bring the abs back together. If I would have known, I would have treated my recovery so differently. 2 steps forward, 1 step back….
When I found this out I had a little pity party for myself for about 48 hours, talked to as many people as I could to gather information, and then was ready to move forward. I was angry my OB in LA didn’t warn me. She knew me well and knew about my Crossfit life! So I had to look for answers. I was posting to forums online looking around in a panic for answers. I didn't realize I had accidentally posted one of my frantic questions so people could see it on the Facebook feed. I felt bad for having a pity party all over Facebook because I have so much to be thankful for and this was just a set-back in my Crossfit game. It isn’t too late to fix it, and I most likely will be able to do it on my own since I will be very diligent in my rehab exercises. However, I realized once it went public that I should totally just write about it and help to spread awareness! So I decided I will share my journey of healing my DR.
I have included a few links to websites that have helped me this past week. I am doing the
MuTu program at home each night, looking to the
Breaking Muscle recovery plan exercises to help me modify the WOD each day at Crossfit, and following Brianna Battles and her
“Everyday Battles” blog. The night I sat down to start the MuTu program I listened to the introduction video and all the symptoms of DR and CRIED!!! I had every. single. thing. she. described! I may have been alone at home, but I have never felt in better company! FINALLY, someone was talking my language. FINALLY, it all made sense. And with the next kid (God willing) l will be prepared with a better recovery plan!
I'm grateful for the competitive mindset that I have learned from my Valley Crossfit family for the five years I was in LA. While that mindset helped me be a great local and regional competitor, it translated to my everyday life. I made a plan to move forward and kick this DR! Even though I will miss the feeling of maxing out on lifts and will have to wait a little longer to get my muscle up back….. it will be a new and different kind of journey that will allow me to learn even MORE about my body and in the end, when I do make a full comeback- it will be just be that much sweeter.
****Please forgive the conversational writing, grammar, and typos. I am a tired momma :) ****
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